How my life changed in 90 hours, a.k.a. Dora meeting Esther, Kambo and Aya
I will start with a short note how I came across Esther.
In July 2020, I was struggling with depression for more than a year and in the last 4 months I was in a state of complete collapse. I was not able to sleep, crying several times a day, I have quit my job (because it was too much to handle), I was fighting constantly with my 12-year old daughter, I was thinking of splitting with my husband, I was having uncontrollable rage bursts – one of them ending with a broken toe… The list could go on and on for pages. I have started working with a psychologist in March to get help my situation but apart from understanding some possible causes for my misery and trying to rationalize my irrational thoughts and behavior I had very little success. I was starting to build additional frustration from not being able to get a grip over myself in spite of having relative good rational explanation for my actions. In my search for help I called a friend of mine to ask for scented oil. She listened to my story for 10 minutes and interrupted me with: “Listen, Dora, you don’t need oils. What you need is Aya. And luckily, I know just the right person who can help you”. This is how I stumbled upon Esther.
I spoke with my husband and told him about my friend’s suggestion. He decided to join me in this adventure and we had couple of calls with Esther and finally booked 5 days for a Kambo and Aya sessions in mid-October. And then I started counting the days, crying, and hoping for a miracle.
We drove to Breukelen and started with a Kambo session. I was a bit nervous but Esther was so calming and reassuring that after only 30 minutes I knew I am in the right place. I drank my 1,5 liters of water, got 3 burns around the ankle. Esther has put a single drop of the medicine to test for allergic reaction and assess how much medicine I might need. I had no reaction, except for the burning pain where the drop was. Great start! Esther burned 2 more dots and I got 5 Kambo drops. To avoid distraction, I have closed my eyes. I had no vision but I started shaking uncontrollably and shortly after I threw up clear water. Easy-peasy, but apparently that was not what should have happened. So I continued sitting and started feeling nauseous again. This time I had some thoughts that something special is happening inside my body. I felt like something was squeezing my tortured flesh (I forgot to mention that I have been suffering from chronical joint pain for more that year and I half; and I have a 20+ year history of back pain – neuralgia, sciatic crisis, neck stiffness and pain). Shortly I have purged again and this time I have heard the encouraging cheers from Esther. I felt quite exhausted and have lain down. In about 15 minutes I have completely recovered from the effect of the medicine. And immediately felt so light and rested. My back and neck pain was gone and I felt as if I just have woken up from a 10-hour refreshing sleep. I was so happy and felt speechless. I never have experienced anything like that in my life. I was so grateful and happy. And this is how I met Kambo.
The next day I was still feeling rested and lighter. But I was having pain and somehow I was more sensitive or the pain was stronger. I have driven my husband for his Aya session and had a nice evening. I met with a friend from school and discussed what has happened with us since we have met the last time. I was able to talk about my drama without crying. This was amazing! The last thing I needed to addto my list of embarrassing experiences was melting down in front of somebody I have not seen for 13 years. We had a great time and I went to bed feeling optimistic.
The next day around noon I went to pick up my husband, we had a light lunch and started getting ready for our group Aya session. We arrived at Esther’s place around 5:30 PM. We had a long talk about what traumas and dramas I have been gone through. There was a lot of crying and I have set my intention to get an answer to my family and work problems. And then I took the drink. Almost immediately I saw myself and my husband very young. I was wondering what was all about and then I realized that I am seeing us at the time I have had an abortion (more than 22 years ago). Then I saw a chain of light circles and sensed it going through my groins – from my left to my right ovary, through my uterus. I sensed a slight tickling and then the pain was gone. Then the snakelike chain of light continued to move through my lower body through all points where I was experiencing pain. The tickling sensation continued and point after point I felt pain-free. After about 2,5 hours I opened my eyes. I was ecstatic. I could not believe what I just have experienced. Then I had my second drink and I drifted into blissful happiness. After another 3 hours we started discussing what we have experienced. Then I told Esther about the vision of my abortion. I felt very puzzled because my brain has put this painful memory in a very dark corner and somehow this was the first think that the medicine has chosen to show me. My husband was also affected by the memory. Esther suggested that we go back to our beds and spend some time meditating about this episode. I started crying and morning my lost baby and then suddenly I had a thought: that our daughter (who was born 10 years later) is the re-born spirit of our unborn baby. It became quite clear why she is so angry with us and I also got an idea how to start repairing our relationship. After some time, I got up and I started talking to my husband. All of a sudden, we realized that he has come to the same conclusion on his own. For the first time in months (if not years), I felt kindness towards him and we hugged. And this is how I met Aya.
The next day, my husband and I have discussed many issues which we were not able (or not willing) to talk about for years. And we did not fight. It felt so great. I got ready and went for my second Aya session. This time I was very excited and I was not able to relax. My thoughts were all over the place and I was a bit worried that I might try to control the process to go and show me resolution for my dramas. Somehow I managed to let go and I saw a beam of light trying to go from the lowest spine vertebra to the top of my head. But there was something that was blocking it and it could not go through. I saw Tetris-like parts and heard a plea “Help me put them together”. Somehow I got confused and thought this was my conscious and refused to put the puzzle together. Shortly after I saw another picture and heard “I found an alternative path. Please help me to put the pieces together”. I still refused to obey. I started feeling very high pulsating pressure in my head started developing very strong headache. The nausea was also very prominent and disturbing. Esther saw that I am struggling and I told her that I have very strong headache. She gave me a pill but I was very miserable and we soon ended the session and talked about my experience. I remembered that I had an accident in which I have injured my neck. And it was the cause of all my back problems. I have developed neuralgia and I have gone through series of laser treatments. I got some improvement but during the treatment I got a mild lung injury. For almost a month I was having difficulties taking a deep breath and felt pain in the area around my solar plexus. Esther told me that it was not my will which was telling me to help but the medicine. She advised me to try to do as I was told and I drank my second drink.
Shortly I saw a snake with spikes. I helped her go through the spot and it felt like sand paper. Shortly after we were done, I felt very nauseous and purged. I peaked in the bucket and saw 2 black furry balls in the liquid. I felt relieve immediately and drifted into a blissful nap. After about 2,5 hours I woke up and Esther and I started talking about my experience. I was amazed how much better I was feeling. I was puzzled that in spite of all the drama in my life, Aya has chosen to help me with my physical pain. And it felt so right! I had recovered my strength to face all the problems and felt the power to take the necessary actions without feeling weak and falling apart. And I got my number one priority – learn to love and accommodate myself before saving the world. The “mother Theresa” attitude was the cause of most of my family and professional problems. And that is how I met my life again.